Monthly Archives: June 2011

So many projects going on, so many moving pieces. I’m not gonna lie I have been being terrible irresponsible the past week. Well as much as I can be considering my workaholic tendencies. Had a lovely weekend of shopping for Vintage dresses, good meals with good friends and some nature time over in Marin for a little catch-up. This morning finally finished up a bunch of my work, tomorrow, car to the shop, hopefully Wed down to LA then back and off to Big Sur for a Mini Vaca.

I have been a bit distracted. I tend to make grand gestures, get carried away and then get cold feet. That may have been the case for me lately. But I’m getting my bearings straight and really evaluating what I want. And I really do want to move on with it, expand, explore, create, do bigger and better things. At least I know that much. And despite the past few weeks slow down in momentum, I’m ready to get my eye back on the prize. I really want BellJar number two to be in Sunset Junction, so LA peeps please keep an eye out for spaces for me. Have a great broker on the lookout but often word of mouth is the best way to find a space.

The next burning question is…should I buy tickets to Paris. I mean Paris is obviously always a good idea. Viva La France but is it the right time to run off? Sometimes everything is glaringly clear for me and sometimes it feels as if I’m viewing my life through a thick pane of glass; fractured, obscured with half fragmented thoughts. I crave clarity.

I am equal parts adventurer and sedentary creature of habit. I’m ruled by this indecision that grips me at the most inopportune moments. Be gone I tell you- I think a week in Paris is the only answer. Ne pensez-vous pas d’accord?

I like to pretend I despise pink, because it’s just too expected that I would like it. I’m already so ridiculously girlie that if I decorated my home in shades of pink or sauntered around in cotton candy tulled dresses, it would be cute overload. So I shy away from my pastel friend. I am now a different class of fancy. I am chartreuse, I am jade, I am gunmetal gray and sometimes I am french blue.

But truth be told in college my room was pink. Just the lightest shade of blush and when I woke in the morning the soft reflection from the rose walls made my skin glow. I slept in frilly pink nighties and sauntered around in marabou clad heels. My roommates found me frivolous but how could they complain about such silliness. I once traded a painting for a vinyl pink couch. I still secretly miss it.

So my darlings, I now leave pink to you. Please go fourth and shine in rosy goodness, I will recognize it on your cheeks..and will be just the tiniest bit envious.

Things have been so crazy for me lately. I have been back and fourth to LA like ten times in the past month. I have gone on and one the past few years about wanting to move to LA. That want in me getting stronger and stronger all the time. I miss sunshine. The past two days in SF have been so lovely and it just puts me in such an amazing mood. I love to run around town in summer dresses and shorts. Sitting in the park, drinking wine is the most glorious activity I can think of. I want my life to be filled with sunny Sunday afternoons.

But the other thing I don’t want in my life is traffic. So the quest is, to find a place to live as well as a place to put a second BellJar that does not require too much driving to get back and fourth. I’m thinking I would love to live in Beachwood Canyon or the Silverlake HIlls and then have the new BellJar in Silverlake. I’m kinda dreaming of Sunset Junction. So now it’s time to go back to LA and research some more and have it all fall into place.

A month ago I was so complete sure it was going to happen immediately and now I’m dragging my feet a bit. I think it’s that SF has been so glorious. I love it here when the weather is nice. That mixed with the fact that my friend Scarlet and I have been just out and about on an almost constant level having an amazing time. My life has just been incredibly fun lately. Just when I think I’m through with San Francisco it morphs into a whole new City.

Lets talk about why I love SF. Nobody does food and cocktails like us. There are so many lovely restaurants here. As much as I love LA, their food just does not compare. And pretty much, my social life revolves around going to said restaurants, sitting at the bar and commingling with all the other people around. Every-time I go out I meet new and exciting people and I love that aspect of our city. I would have a hard time giving that up permanently.

Anyway I’m going on, but if LA does pan out…I will not be gone forever…I will probably spend half the time here and half there. SF is my home…but LA is calling. It might just be a booty cal, but I’ve just got to figure it out for myself.

Ok, Ok. I have been totally MIA. So much has been going on it’s hard to even begin to download. But its all really good things and I’m terribly madly happy. I have been really focusing all my energy towards big creative changes in my life and all I can say, is whenever I focus myself it’s amazing how quickly the things I want come pouring in.

So on the horizons tons of exciting new ventures.

Been heading to LA a lot lately to take care of business and I have to sing the praises of my LA friends. I have such a rad group of friends there. Every-time I have to leave I swear I’m kicking and screaming. I have been in SF for so long and it will always be home, but I need a change at least for a little while. I want to be bi-city, eventually bi-coastal and hell why not bi-continent?

I want my life to be filled with glamour, late night dinners, new people, new experiences. I want to fall in love 100 more times. I want to buy a private jet. I want a house in the south of France. I want to have a love affair with a Greek shipping heir. I want to spend a summer at an art commune. I want to spend a winter in Russia drinking vodka and wearing furs. I want to run through golden fields, holding hands with a cute man all the while giggling and falling into the soft ground kissing. I want to venture through cobblestone alley ways wearing ridiculously high heels after sharing a bottle of Rose.

I want my life to be full. As full as it has already been. And as full as it could possibly be.

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